One does not want our one because we had only one

One does not want  our  one because  we had only one

By

P.R.Ramachander

   Once upon a time  there   was  no family planning  being practiced in India.  Every home had several siblings –some of them male   and some female .Most of the families   were  poor or lower  middle class  . There   was a great  competition  among  brides and grooms to get married  in homes     with only one son . This was because  they thought   that  all  the  money   earned by the parents  of that person would come to him . No one ever thought   that  parents  would  be a burden to them

 In fact if a person   did not look after his parents  the whole   society shunned  him . Most of the children were  very much dependent  on their inherited  wealth 

   Then the concept of family  planning   was  introduced.People came  to know that    if they have  less  children , then  their  earned assets  would go to few  children   and so  ecomically their   children would progress .The govt said , “we two, ours two”  Within a short time  most of the Brahmins   became upper middle class .They educated  their few children (one or two)  extremely well.Soon the children became rich , Initially , thinking that   daughters would go away to other families , the family  spent  money on educating sons only  .With sons becoming rich , they started supporting  their parents and sisters,So  soon  all children  got educated  well   and became  financially well off  and self dependent.

    A stage came when  neither a  son nor   the daughters   were interested  in the  inherited wealth . They  were much , much richer  than their parents   and they wanted   their children to further progress  economically  .So a new concept that , while it is the duty of  parents to look after  their children , it was  not the duty of children to lok after  their parents  arose among children,.The parents however thought   that their children should look after them   as it was their duty.

    In the present days  most of the Brahmins had  only one or two children . Some families  have  two sons, some  two daughters  , some  one son and a daughter  , some only one son   and  some one daughter  only ,

  This unfortunately    affected  the matrimonial choices  of both boys and girls

1.No boy wanted to marry in a family where there  are only  one or two daughters.He started thinking   that apart from  his burden of looking after  his parents, he has  also to look after  his parents-in-laws.Most of girls from such families   told the groom that   she   would be  giving her parents a part of her  income to her parents  and once she told this, the grooms rejected her.

2.No girl wanted to get married  in to a family  with either one son or  a son and daughter .Her logic is that , her parents in law   would become an exclusive  burden on her .

     Most of the parents promise   such grooms and brides  that they would live  alone   and would not be a  burden for them.But the children  do not have   full trust  in such words . They feel  Parents   would become old  and helpless and then  , they would become a burden on  them.

     This is an extremely serious issue  in  arranging marriage ,Is there  any solution.?