Seventy Years Back

 Seventy Years Back

Transcreated by P.R.Ramachander

This write up is not mine but was posted in the face book which attracted me. I have modified certain aspects to make its appeal universal. I have changed certain narrations)

seventy years back:-

They repaired their slippers and wore it again,

They darned their cloths and wore it again,

Even after love marriage the wife did not address,
Her husband by his name or referred to him without respect.

During festivals special dishes were shared with neighbors.

Whenever some dish was left over at night ,
Next day it was boiled well and used as side dish with gruel.

In all wedding celebrations lunch was important feast.

During long journeys they took mixed rices like lemon or tamarind rice to eat on the way.

Most of the people traveled by bus most of the time.

The students of all schools were only children.

Most of the people understood meaning of lyrics of songs

Most relatives and friends wrote letters to each other.

During festivals together they ate feasts and went and watched Cinemas together,

The entire village together ran behind the thief to catch him,

If some shouting is heard from a home, the neighbors rushed to help,(Not like today when they take phone to take a video_)

All of us respected elders of even neighboring homes

Near and dear ones came to attend marriages even two days before

The entire village toiled for every homes celebrations

Each and every one came and offered help if some is sick or in case of death

Dawn was pretty for breathing and thinking

WE call it progress but we have lost all that was good,
WE have sacrificed happiness of community for sake of individual pleasures and enjoyment.
It may be autumn of modernity now but we will never get back the spring

Psychology says about persons

Psychology   says about persons

 

Translated  by

P.R.Ramachander

 

He who laughs a lot  even for  small things

Is one  who experiences great solitude  within himself

 

Suppose  one person   sleeps a lot, he is sad  within himself

 

Suppose one talks  less but talks fasr then

He is a person  who carries lot of secrets

 

Suppose  one person  is  not able  to talk

He  is a mentally   weak person

 

Suppose  some one talks  as if everything is lost

He is  a person   with  lot of tension

 

A person  who cries  even for small  things

Is innocent person with  a weak  heart

 

A person  who gets angry  even for small things

He is one who  does not get love from others

And is the one  who  yearns for  it

*பாட்டி அடிக்கடி சொல்லுவாள் * A grandma used to tell again and again

*பாட்டி அடிக்கடி சொல்லுவாள் *

A grandma used to tell again and again

 

Translated  by

P.R.Ramachander

 

(Most  of us who  are  now  senior  citizens  used  to follow  these  advices of elders.Unfortunately  these  advices  faded  away.I saw  it in tamil .I am translating so  that  old generation  will grin and young generation would laugh)

 

நீரால் கோலம் போடாதே

நெற்றியைக் காலியாய் விடாதே

குச்சியைக் கொளுத்தி வீசாதே

இரவில் ஊசியை எடுக்காதே

 

Do not  draw  Rangoli  with water

Do not keep your foehead  empty

Do not burn a stick   and throw  it

Do not take  a needle   at  night

 

கால் மேல் காலைப் போடாதே

காலையில் அதிகம் தூங்காதே

தொடையில் தாளம் போடாதே

தரையில் வெறுதே கிடக்காதே

 

Do not sit  keeping  one leg on another

Do not sleep too much  in day time

Do not keep beat  on your thigh

Do not lie down on bare  floor

 

மலஜலம் அடக்கி வைக்காதே

நகத்தை நீட்டி வளர்க்காதே

ஆலயம் செல்லத் தவறாதே

அதிகமாகப் பேசாதே

 

Do  not keep in control  stool and urine

Do  not  grow long nails

Do not miss going to temple

Do not talk too much

 

எண்ணெய் தேய்க்க மறக்காதே

சந்தியில் நீயும் உண்ணாதே

விரிப்பைச் சுருட்ட மறக்காதே

பகலில் படுத்து உறங்காதே

 

Do not forget  to  apply oil

Do not take  food  in Dusk

Do not forget  to roll your bed

Do  not sleep  during day time

 

குளிக்கும் முன்பு புசிக்காதே

ஈரம் சொட்ட நிற்காதே

நாமம் சொல்ல மறக்காதே

நல்ல குடியைக் கெடுக்காதே

 

Do not eat  anything before bath

Do not stand wet

Do not forget  to chant God’s name

Do not  spoil a good family

 

தீய வார்த்தை பேசாதே

நின்று தண்ணீர் குடிக்காதே

எதையும் காலால் தட்டாதே

எச்சில் பத்தை மறக்காதே

 

Do not tell   bad  words

Do not  drink water  when Standing

Do not kick  anything by leg

Do  not forget Saliva leaving and boiled  rice items

 

எல்லாம் சொல்லிக் கொடுத்தாரே

எந்தன் குடியில் மூத்தோரே

எல்லாம் கேட்டு வாழ்ந்தோரே

என்றும் வளமாய்த் தீர்வோரே

 

All these  have been taught  ,

By elders  in the family

All those  who obey  and live

Would live   with prosperity

Evolution of marriages in Brahmin families in the past 100 years

  Evolution of marriages in Brahmin families in the past 100 years

By
P.R.Ramachander

I belong to the generation of people who were born in the middle of twentieth centaury.In my previous generation girls had to get married even they were mere children and the boys did get married when they were nearing 18. Most of the males of that generation did not reach the age of 60 and died much before that . If a women survives her first child birth , she used to have a long life span. If by chance a girl does young , her husband got married again immediately. So almost every house had a widow and large number of houses were looked after by step mothers,

To prevent the ever increasing number of child widows the British brought the Sarda act .It said that women should not get married before the age of 14 and men before the age of 18.There were huge protests by Brahmins all over the country and my father used to say an Athi rudra yagam was performed in Palghat town , so that this bill would not get passed,.

Because Brahmins of that generation who got married in the 1940s were law abiding people , they followed this rule strictly. It was at this time that our youngsters started studing in schools and colleges and going to metropolises like Mumbai, Chennai and Calcutta in search of jobs. By the time they could clear all their responsibilities and get settled in life , they were 25-30. The girls completed school education and were ready for marriage by the time they were about 17 .So the normal age difference between husband and wife was anything between 8-12 years .Child birth was not a great risk and the life span of men suddenly increased to beyond 60.Very less widows and very less step others were to be seen in my generation.

In the 1980s most of our girls started becoming graduates and most of the boys became post graduates. .Since lot of affordable money was spent on their education, both boys and girls wanted to earn money before their marriage . The average age of marriage of boys continued to be 28-30 but the girls got married between 23-25.So the age difference between the couples got reduced to 6-8 .Both girls and boys had relatively long life span .Widows were extremely rare and consequently number of step mothers came down. It was the time when girls got exposure of outside life before marriage Slowly love marriages started taking place

In the 1990s , almost all the girls were working before marriage and love started developing between class mates and colleagues. They started telling that if the age difference is more than 2 or 3, There would not be mutual understanding between them. It was at this time that due to very long life span of males also the sex ratio became almost 50:50 .

In 2000s love marriages and inter caste marriages became common . There were lesser number of girls compared to boys. The age difference between them further reduced.Divorces became common

And we have reached a stage when most of the girls prefer to have almost same age as their husbands or slightly younger.
WE have among us now people from almost all generations .What do they think about this development?

1.Is it not a good development , that there are very less widows, almost no step mothers and majority of us live long?

2.Taking in to account the fact , that women age fast after 50 and men only after 60, Is it alright to have 2-3 years age difference between bride And groom?

3.Why is it there are more love marriages between Brahmin girls and others, than Brahmin boys and others?

4.Why is it most of the inter caste marriages celebrated in typical Tamil Brahmin style?

4.Do all divorced people get married again?