Life led by multi-human directors is pain in the neck?

Life led by multi-human  directors is pain in the neck?

By

P.R.Ramachander

My grandpa   told me that I should  get up at  five am,

My doctor   told me   to sleep well    and get up at  six,

My   wife and children ask me not to be silly and get up at  seven,

Hearing all these  well meant advices, I do not know   when to get up.

My scientist friend tells me no tooth paste  or powder  is of any use ,

My auyrvedic friend tells me to use a Neem stick brush my teeth,

But my dentist tells me to brush   with soft bristles  and fluoride paste,

So  after getting up in the morning  , I do not know how to brush my teeth.

My uncle    from Kumbhakonam tells me    drink coffee  in the morning  ,

My Saradarji friend   from the north tells me that nothing like tea in the morning,

My  wife  and the TV  commercials tells me that  there is nothing like  horlicks to drink,

So I am greatly  confused   as to what  i should drink   in the early morning  ,

Nothing  like a    warm water   shower   to take bath said my son in law,

You should only   take cold water bath preferably in a tank said my  father  ,

But my wife insisted    that   i should   wash myself in very- very hot water,

And unable to make  up my mind , i just opened the   bath room tap and took the bath.

Nothing like  a  soft   Idly   with chutney  for breakfast    said my  grandma ,

Early morning a set dosa   with sago   would  take care  of you said my friend,

Pasta   with sauce  or  noodles  or bread and cornflakes said my  daughter,

Hearing all this  my wife asked me what I want and did not give  me anything.

I  had  diabetes   and there was no question of taking rice or wheat ,

I too had a high Bp and  i could not take pickles, papad  and anything with salt,

I had a little cholesterol  and doctor said no coconut oil  , wife said no ghee  ,

And every one   said no to oils and so lunch to me  was not joy but   torture.

It   somehow   became evening  and my doctor had prescribed one hour walk,

My son told a  walk does not help and asked   me jog or run which I could not,

My  friend told me that  both were  useless   and cycling   was the best  ,

Unable  to do any of these  , I simply   sat idle    in my easy   chair.

It became  time for dinner, my mother said , half belly for night,

And my children said that nothing like garlic  bread and pizza and sleep,

My wife  said , she was tired and preferred butter milk   and rice ,

Completly fuddled I did not take   anything at all and retired for bed.

My son came running behind me and advised me to sleep  on my side,

But my  well educated daughter   said to me, “father ,lie down seeing the roof”

And my    wife who followed  me stared at me  and rolled me back up on my pillow,

And I  never got sleep and after  my wife and others slept , i sat up on my bed and thought.

I realized that   this type  of life obeying several people was horrible,

And  having very many problems   I did not myself  know  what to do?

My life   which should have been interesting   and enjoyable  was a pain in the neck,

And so  I decided  to shift  to a new home  alone with my wife and tell her “shut up your mouth”