Pre marriage advices to a son by his mother
(I was surprised to read a tamil post on this by Hamsabai Santhana Krishnan .The idea was fabulous and much needed. With minor modifications, I have written it in english.May God bless the author of the Tamil write up)
Oh son , this may come as a great surprise for you,
For I decided that I should advice you before your wedding day,
You may possibly be surprised and within your mind wonder,
Why this advice to me as you know it is given only to girls.
All these years your mother was the only lady for you ,
Who cooked for you , who kept the house neat,
Who coached you in time of need , who sang, who took correct decisions
And who drew Rangoli and who according to you is the lady great.
There is nothing wrong in it and I always enjoyed being crowned like that,
But from now on keep the thought that “Mother is the best” , hidden deeply in your mind,
And understand that there is no need to tell it to your bride of today and wife of tomorrow,
Yes it is a mask , but use it with intelligence and you would spread happiness all around.
Even before the novelty of the relationship fades do not tell her , who is your wife,
That my mother has suffered greatly and so you have to respect and obey her ,
For she may think, why this man married me for he could have continued as her son,
And once this bitter seed is planted in her mind , it would grow in to a great hurting banyan tree.
Make her understand that from now on she is your world and everything to you,
Never tell her that my parents do quarrel for she may start quarrelling with you soon,
While drinking your coffee do not make slurping sound , for she may think ,
That I have not brought you up well , put on best behaviour and make her have respect to me.
Since you have not tasted any other food except that cooked by me , it is natural,
For you to like it and love it but do not l keep on telling that poor new wife,
My mother’s SAmbhar. My mother’s ghee roast etc and compare her cooking with mine,
Please remember I do not know how to drive a car , bake breads or nothing of time management.
From tomorrow she is your partner in all aspects of your life,
She has come to you leaving her home along with a transplanting shock,
THough she too has dreamt pleasures from married life,
Give her time to adjust to her new wedded life and always praise her.
Do not sing praises of mother , do not compare her with me,
Do not earn ever the name of Mummy’s pet , as it is not good,
Do not depend on mother at any time , allow her to take needed rest ,
Tell her that your mother would help her in need and also praise her mother,
Praising your father or her father would never upset her,
Remember that she is not a pleasure giving machine ,
But a human being very much like you and would ,
Also be out of mood, angry, jealous and sad at times like you.
Oh son, I want you to be happy and hence these advices.