Wednesday, September 13, 2017

Pre marriage advices to a son by his mother

Pre marriage advices  to  a son by  his mother


(I was   surprised to read   a tamil post on this by  Hamsabai Santhana Krishnan .The idea was fabulous and much needed. With minor modifications, I have written it in english.May God bless the author of the  Tamil write up)

Oh son , this may come as a great surprise for you,
For I decided   that I should  advice you before  your wedding day,
You may possibly be surprised   and within your mind wonder,
Why this advice to me  as  you  know it is given only to girls.

All these   years   your mother  was   the only lady for you ,
Who cooked for you  , who kept the  house   neat,
Who coached  you in time of need , who sang, who took correct decisions
And who drew Rangoli  and who according to you is the lady great.

There  is nothing wrong in it   and I always   enjoyed  being crowned like that,
But from now on keep  the thought that “Mother  is the best” , hidden deeply in your mind,
And understand that  there is no need   to tell it to  your bride  of today and wife  of tomorrow,
Yes it is a mask ,   but use it with intelligence  and  you would spread happiness  all around.

Even before the novelty of the relationship fades do not tell her , who is your wife,
That my mother has suffered greatly  and so you have to respect   and obey her ,
For she may think, why this man married me  for he could have continued  as her son,
And once this  bitter seed    is planted  in her mind , it would grow in to a great  hurting banyan tree.

Make her understand  that from now on she   is your world and everything to you,
Never tell her   that my parents do quarrel  for she may start  quarrelling with you  soon,
While drinking your coffee  do not make slurping   sound , for she may think ,
That  I have not brought you up well , put on best behaviour and make her have respect to  me.

Since you have not tasted any   other food except that   cooked  by me , it is natural,
For you to like it and love it but  do not l keep on telling    that  poor new wife,
My mother’s SAmbhar. My mother’s ghee roast   etc  and compare her cooking with mine,
Please remember I do not know how to drive a car , bake breads or  nothing of  time management.

From tomorrow   she  is your partner in all aspects  of your life,
She  has come to you leaving her home along with a transplanting shock,
THough she too has  dreamt  pleasures   from married life,
Give her   time to adjust   to her new wedded life and always praise  her. 

To summarise
Do not sing praises  of mother , do not compare her   with me,
Do not earn  ever  the name of Mummy’s pet , as it is not good,
Do not depend  on mother at any time  , allow her to take needed rest ,
Tell her that your mother  would help her in need  and also praise her mother,

Praising your father  or her father    would never  upset her,
Remember  that  she is not a  pleasure   giving machine ,
But a human being very much like   you   and would ,
Also be out of mood, angry, jealous  and sad  at times like you.

Oh son, I want you  to be happy  and hence these  advices.

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