Brahmin matrimony –
(old) groom protests and (young )bride
answers
By
P.R.Ramachander
(I happen to read
a tamil article in Dhina malar, giving the point of
view of a Brahmin groom, unable to get married even when he was nearing 40 . Ofcourse I sympathise with him but he
has also to consider the bride’s
view point. Here are imaginary answers
to some of
his questions by a present day bride .
Are they reasonable ?)
Once upon a
time , the parents of girls , due to inability and poverty used to give their 20 year old girl in marriage to 60 year old men and created young widows
in all Brahmin homes.
Nowadays parents
of boy’s who have crossed thirty
five (old young bachelors) , are prepared to get a
divorcee/widowed bride even from other castes.
One such groom has
the following questions
to the parents of brides/brides
1.You are expecting the groom below 30
with government
job as officers/private jobs
with a monthly income of more
than fifty thousands but more than 80% of this age group
get a salary of about Rs30000. Even if they get government jobs,by the age of 30
, they will not get Rs50000 as
salary.In this age it would be difficult to buy a house without taking loan. And if loan is
taken their take home
pay would get further reduced. No one seem to bother about whether his earning is sufficient to run a family or whether his habits are good.
Answer by bride .
With the present cost of living , with a salary of thirty
thousand , a family can only lead a
life of poverty, specially if
they do not own a house .It simply is
not possible for even to buy decent dress like every one else.If children
are born it is not possible with
that salary to
educate them in a good school
2.Leading a religious life following all acharas seems to be
a great draw back for the boy
Most of the acharas make
an educated girl lead
an extremely hopeless life.It takes
away all her independence in dressing as
she likes and forces her to lead a life
of torture and simple
imprisonment
3.Unlike earlier
days when grooms used
to buy rich brides , a time has
come when brides are
buying rich grooms
It is a very unjust accusation .Once upon a time grooms wanted to live in the money earned by his future father in law .Present
days no bride wants to live in the wealth
of her father in law but searches
for a groom who can look after
her by his earning.
4.No bride
wants to marry a groom who is beyond 30 and never a groom who
is beyond 35 .Because of this large number
of men have to live unmarried
At earlier
times all men of thirty wanted to marry a
girl of sweet sixteen .If she
remains for some reason not married up to 25 , men used to reject
her saying that she looks very old and her child bearing age is very much reduced
5,No bride wants
to get married to a boy with very very slight paunch, or very very slight baldness
or dressed in Dhothi
once in a while
True , were they prepared
to marry us when we were not white, when we did not have long hair
, when we were not as pretty as
Maha Lakshmi about 30
years back?
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