Brahmin matrimony – (old) groom protests and (young )bride answers
(I happen to read a tamil article in Dhina malar, giving the point of view of a Brahmin groom, unable to get married even when he was nearing 40 . Ofcourse I sympathise with him but he has also to consider the bride’s view point. Here are imaginary answers to some of his questions by a present day bride . Are they reasonable ?)
Once upon a time , the parents of girls , due to inability and poverty used to give their 20 year old girl in marriage to 60 year old men and created young widows in all Brahmin homes.
Nowadays parents of boy’s who have crossed thirty five (old young bachelors) , are prepared to get a divorcee/widowed bride even from other castes.
One such groom has the following questions to the parents of brides/brides
1.You are expecting the groom below 30 with government job as officers/private jobs with a monthly income of more than fifty thousands but more than 80% of this age group get a salary of about Rs30000. Even if they get government jobs,by the age of 30 , they will not get Rs50000 as salary.In this age it would be difficult to buy a house without taking loan. And if loan is taken their take home pay would get further reduced. No one seem to bother about whether his earning is sufficient to run a family or whether his habits are good.
Answer by bride . With the present cost of living , with a salary of thirty thousand , a family can only lead a life of poverty, specially if they do not own a house .It simply is not possible for even to buy decent dress like every one else.If children are born it is not possible with that salary to educate them in a good school
2.Leading a religious life following all acharas seems to be a great draw back for the boy
Most of the acharas make an educated girl lead an extremely hopeless life.It takes away all her independence in dressing as she likes and forces her to lead a life of torture and simple imprisonment
3.Unlike earlier days when grooms used to buy rich brides , a time has come when brides are buying rich grooms
It is a very unjust accusation .Once upon a time grooms wanted to live in the money earned by his future father in law .Present days no bride wants to live in the wealth of her father in law but searches for a groom who can look after her by his earning.
4.No bride wants to marry a groom who is beyond 30 and never a groom who is beyond 35 .Because of this large number of men have to live unmarried
At earlier times all men of thirty wanted to marry a girl of sweet sixteen .If she remains for some reason not married up to 25 , men used to reject her saying that she looks very old and her child bearing age is very much reduced
5,No bride wants to get married to a boy with very very slight paunch, or very very slight baldness or dressed in Dhothi once in a while
True , were they prepared to marry us when we were not white, when we did not have long hair , when we were not as pretty as Maha Lakshmi about 30 years back?