Age
difference between husband and wife
By
P.R.Ramachander
I belong to the generation of people who were born in the middle of twentieth centaury.In my previous
generation girls had to get married even they were mere children
and the boys did get married when they were nearing 18. Most of the
males of that generation did not
reach the age of 60 and died much before that . If a women survives her first
child birth , she used to have
a long life span. If by chance a girl
does young , her husband got married again immediately.
So almost every house had a widow and large
number of houses were looked after
by step mothers,
To prevent
the ever increasing number of child
widows the British brought
the Sarda act .It said that women should not get married before the age of 14
and men before the age
of 18.There were huge protests by Brahmins all over the country and my father
used to say an Athi rudra
yagam was performed in Palghat
town , so that this bill would
not get passed,.
Because
Brahmins of that generation who
got married in the 1940s were
law abiding people , they
followed this rule strictly. It was at
this time that our youngsters started
studing in schools and colleges
and going to metropolises like Mumbai, Chennai and Calcutta in search of jobs. By the time they could clear
all their responsibilies and get
settled in life , they were 25-30. The
girls completed school
education and were ready for marriage by the time they were about 17 .So the normal age difference between husband and wife was anything between 8-12 years .Child birth
was not a great risk and the life span of men
suddenly increased to beyond
60.Very less widows and very less step mothers
were to be seen in my generation.
In the 1980s most of our girls started
becoming graduates and most of the boys became post graduates.
.Since lot of unaffordable money
was spent on their education, both boys and girls wanted to earn money before their marriage . The average age of marriage of boys continued to be
28-30 but the girls
got married between 23-25.So the
age difference between the couples got reduced
to 6-8 .Both girls and boys
had relatively long life span
.Widows were extremely rare and consequently number of step mothers came down. It was the time when girls got exposure of outside
life before marriage Slowly love marriages started
taking place
In
the 1990s , almost all the
girls were working before marriage and love started
developing between class mates
and collegues. They started telling that if the age difference is more than 2 or 3, There
would not be mutual understanding between them. It was at this time that
due to very long life span of males also
the sex ratio became almost
50:50 .
In 2000s
love marriages and inter
caste marriages became common .
There were lesser number of girls compared
to boys. The age difference between
them further reduced.Divorces
became common
And we have reached a stage when most of the girls prefer to have almost same age as their husbands or slightly younger.
WE have among us now people from
almost all generations .What do they
think about this development?
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