A angry outburst of a 40+ iyer bachelor
( I felt sad on reading it in Whatsapp. I do have the name and e mail id of the man who wrote it. What else I can do except sympathizing with him.)
Once upon a time the poor Brahmins gave their 20 year old daughters in marriage to 60 year old men and created large number of young widows.
I am one of those 40+ Brahmin leading a very orthodox life, who went on searching for an iyer girl who was willing to marry me and have sacrificed my youth at the altar of the temple of matrimony.
The torments that a girl’s parent give to the boys who search for brides has become too much unbearable and have pained me a lot.
Thet y all want to know whether I am a government servant or employed in a private firm..If in a private firm they ask whether my monthly income is more than fifty thousand rupees. They also want to know whether I have my own house in the city besides the house of my parents.. They are bothered to know whether I have an income sufficient to run the family well or whether I have any bad habits or whether I lead a religious life.
AS soon as I tell them I lead a stain free orthodox life , I am asked to immediately drop the alliance and get out of their home.
Some times I used to feel , may be the girl is very highly educated and the family is prosperous, usually I am shocked to know they are a lower middle class family and the girl has just completed tenth standard.
There is nothing wrong in parents of girls wanting their girl to lead a life of prosperity, But I do not feel it is just for them to neglect the education, handsomeness, sterling character and only getting bothered about money.
I know a Iyer groom who has been giving matrimonial advertisement in a monthly iyer magazine ever since he attained forty , every month for the past five years . So far no one has bothered to reply him. And that gentleman is very rich and employed in an MNC in Singapore.
Seeing that I have concluded that for me who belongs to a middle class family , with average qualification and average income , there is no chance to get married at all.
I know about a girl whose engagement with a very rich groom was celebrated. The groom wanted her to resign her job before the datwe of marriage and fifteen days before the day fixed for marriage the groom , said he is not interested in the marriage. The girl turned mad and even attempted suicide.
In other castes , even if the groom is not employed the family of the girl would get him a job to do and also give their daughter in marriage to him.
But among Brahmins the practice of auctioning the groom for his wealth is prevalent. They are not bothered even if their girl marries from other caste or religion. Will this change at all ?Why are the caste leaders not bothered about it? We are also people with love and affection, sterling character, people who treat other ladies as their mothers or sisters and people who forever dream about a happy married life. Please help us to live a married life and do not send us to the cremation ground
Money only is not life .It would not accompany you after your death .Start thinking “Character is difficult to get and money is easy to get.”.Please help us to get married.
A forty year old Iyer groom who is sad .